I didn't make it in time to say goodbye. Rest in peace. "always a soldier"

when you touch me I feel sick.

what a tacky sunset
what a vulgar moon

"You just don't know," she said. "You hide in this little fortress, behind wire and sandbags, and  you don't know what it's all about. Sometimes I want to eat this place. Vietnam. I want to swallow the whole country - the dirt, the death - I just want to eat it and have it there inside me. That's how I feel. It's like . . . this appetite. I get scared sometimes - lots of times - but it's not bad. You know? I feel close to myself. When I'm out there at night, I feel close to my own body, I can feel my blood moving, my skin and fingernails, everything, it's like I'm full of electricity and I'm glowing in the dark - I'm on fire almost - I'm burning away into nothing - but it doesn't matter because I know exactly who I am. You cant feel like that anywhere else."

"Boo, Forever"

Spinning like a ghost
on the bottom of a
top,
I'm haunted by all
the space that I
will live without
you.

If I could run through the woods, and speed like the like, I'd find the answers to why and be back by tonight.

the heart will fail us.

"he's sick at home with a fever of 99.bitch"

"wait, make me a facebook!"
"no dad"
"yeah! and then I can buy a new digital camera
and carry around with me while I'm doin stuff
and ask people, 'hey can you take a picture
of me? I want to put it on my facebook.'"

Reflections of a Skyline from Michael Tamman on Vimeo.

When I'm bored and lonely I look on petfinder.com and my heart breaks over and over and over.

i.

We are hard on each other
and call it honesty,
choosing our jagged truths
with care and aiming them across
the neutral table.

The things we say are
true; it is our crooked
aims, our choices
turn them criminal.


ii.

Of course your lies
are more amusing:
you make them new each time.

Your truths, painful and boring
repeat themselves over and over
perhaps because you own
so few of them.


iii.

A truth should exist,
it should not be used
like this. If I love you

is that a fact or a weapon?


iv.

Does the body lie
moving like this, are these
touches, hairs, wet
soft marble my tongue runs over
lies you are telling me?

Your body is not a word,
it does not lie or
speak truth either.

It is only
here or not here.

"I woke up in the morning and I didn't want anything, didn't do anything,
couldn't do it anyway,
just lay there listening to the blood rush though me
and it never made any sense, anything

and i can't eat, can't sleep, can't sit still or fix things
and i wake up and i wake up and you're still dead,
you're under the table,
you're still feeding the damn dog,
you're cutting the room in half,
whatver.
feed him whatever.
burn the straw house down."

Rules of PMSing: 1). don't watch Candy 2). don't watch Titanic; and 3). eat lots of double stuffed Oreos.

I can still smell your skin on my fingertips.